MAKING
THE MOST OF YOUR MANUSCRIPT—REVISIONS
by
Joan Kilby
You've
completed a manuscript. Congratulations! The hard work is
done, right? Wrong. It's time to revise. When you send your
baby out into the cold, cruel world of publishing it will
encounter editors with little time and exacting standards.
It will enter into fierce competition with other manuscripts,
all looking for a home. If you want your offspring to survive
and thrive and pave the way for future siblings, you must
prepare it well.
Writing
is an interactive process. Your ideas change and develop,
your characters take on a life of their own. Most people revise
to some extent as they work their way through the first draft.
But it's wise to keep this to a minimum to prevent your internal
editor from stifling your creativity.
Today
I'm going to talk about revising a completed MS. I'll concentrate
on the large-scale structural changes with only a brief word
about the polishing process.
Even
if you don't write to a detailed outline, you can use novel
structure to help analyze where your MS is going off the track.
The most efficient way to revise is from overall structure
to fine-tuning. After all, there's no point checking spelling
if you're going to toss out a whole chapter or add a new scene.
Get
the big things out of the way first.
STEP
ONE—Read through your manuscript
Try to arrange a time when you can read the entire MS in one
or two sittings. This will give you a feel for the story as
a whole. When you write, you write in pages, scenes or chapters.
Sometimes in the finished product, ideas or actions don't
always mesh up. When you read through the MS check for the
overall feel for the novel, the pacing, the consistent use
of theme. Make sure events flow logically, that action causes
reaction, that there aren't six chapters between references
to the subplot, that the hero and heroine's relationship grows
and changes in a believeable fashion and that it does so in
relation to the external plot.
Before
you start to read it helps to reread your notes on your characters'
goals and motivations. Are they still valid? If in the course
of the first reading, you find your characters' goals have
changed, redefine them and write them down to fix them in
your mind. Then check for the following. Are the hero and
heroine's goals and motivations clearly defined early on?
Are they consistent from beginning to end? Do they give rise
to appropriate actions and behaviours? Do they undergo a logical
progression, resulting in their fulfillment by the end of
the book?
Go
through your MS a second time and make a list of every scene
in the book; eg, hero and heroine meet, heroine confides in
hero about her past, etc, with a line or two about the purpose
of the scene. Then ask yourself, Is this scene necessary?
Is it in the appropriate place? Or would it work better in
a later/earlier chapter? You should be looking for the progression
of plot, character growth and the development of the relationship
between hero and heroine. In longer length books especially,
these things can sometimes be hard to grasp as a whole. Making
a digest of your scenes helps you stay focused. It will help
you decide where to cut irrelevant or superfluous material.
Check
your MS against your outline (if you wrote one) for the milestones
of the book: opening hook, first turning point, mid-point,
second turning point, climax and resolution. Your finished
story has probably deviated from the original outline or synopsis
but you still need those all-important plot points. If they're
missing, out of place, or diluted by too many changes to the
story line, make a note of it so you can figure out how to
rearrange or rewrite to keep the pacing strong and give your
story dramatic impact.
Make
notes as you go through your MS about areas that need more
work; scenes that need expanding or deleting, inconsistancies,
omissions, characters which need developing, telling instead
of showing, etc. I like to make notes in a separate notebook
or paper. Marking the MS too much distracts me from the reading
and can suck me into rewriting before I've finished reading.
Don't forget to note the page numbers!
STEP
TWO—Cutting
Go
through the MS scene by scene, paragraph by paragraph, sentence
by sentence, word by word, and ask yourself, `Does this really
need to be included and why?' Cutting can be hard, especially
when you're fond of a phrase or passage. But if it doesn't
have a specific purpose, it has to go.
Sometimes
it's hard to determine if a scene, paragraph, or sentence
is necessary or not. Try cutting it and see if the book has
really lost something or if it's gained by tighter writing.
If you're still not sure, cut anyway. My rule of thumb: When
in doubt, cut it out.
Each
scene should have at least one of the following dramatic functions:
1.
Exposition—ie, it provides necessary information to the
reader. Remember the cardinal rule - show don't tell.
2.
Characterization—develop your characters through interaction,
dialogue, internal diaglogue, details of personal appearance,
home, work. etc.
3.
Plot—events which move the plot forward
4.
Conflict—illustrates the internal conflict between hero
and heroine and develops it further.
Most
scenes should serve more than one function. The more functions
you can put into a scene, the more economical and powerful
your writing. If you can't find at least one function, cut
the scene. And if there is only one function, it had better
be a very important piece of information or characterization
to justify a whole scene devoted to it alone. Or else a very
small scene. When you're making your list of scenes, it's
a good idea to note the functions at the same time.
Make
sure every scene does something a little different from what
came before. For instance, if you've illustrated the hero's
ability to relate to children by having him tell his daughter
a bedtime story, you'll only bore the reader if you show him
drawing pictures with her in the next chapter. You don't have
time to be repetetive if you're going to explore all facets
of the important relationships in your story
Look
at each chapter to make sure you've structured it for maximum
dramatic impact. Generally, there are three scenes per chapter
(rule of thumb, only). Is there a common theme linking them
together? Do they build to a mini-climax at the end of the
chapter, leaving your reader with a plot or emotional cliff-hanger?
Does each scene move the story forward? Is the writing tight,
eliminating every uneccessary piece of information?
Once
again, don't be afraid to cut favourite bits of writing. Have
faith that what you replace it with will be even better. Be
ruthless.
STEP
THREE—Rewriting
Rearrange paragraphs within a scene, scenes within a chapter
to condense, focus and build for greatest impact. For example,
if the hero and heroine discuss several things within a scene,
arrange the topics so the most important, ie, most critical
to H & H's emotional or physical well-being comes last. This
gives the reader a sense of build-up; improving pacing and
providing a hook at the end of the scene or chapter.
During
the rewrite, correct any inconsistencies or anomalies you've
created during the cutting process. Again, it's wise to make
notes of what you've cut so you'll know what you have to change
later. eg, if you've cut a scene where the heroine goes shopping
and buys a new dress, you're going to have to make sure that
later on you don't have her putting on the dress with a reference
to that shopping trip.
Cuts
which affect emotional issues tend to be less tangible and
easier to overlook. This is where making notes of changes
is really important so you can pick up the emotional threads
in the next relevant scene. You might pick these up on a re-read
but why take a chance? Making notes saves time and you'll
be sure you haven't missed anything.
Maybe
you'll add something; a personality quirk, some additional
motivation from the character's past, a different outcome
to a confrontation. Comb the MS for the appropriate references
and make the necessary changes. I like to use post-it notes
to tag the pages needing changes, noting the type of change
required on the note. Many people write a bare bones draft,
going back on subsequent rewrites and layering in details
of setting and emotions. My own early drafts tend to be heavy
on dialogue and in later drafts I have to go back and expand
on sensory details.
Examine
your writing to ensure you stay in one point of view throughout
a scene. There are cases where you might want to switch POV
but in general, sticking to one makes your writing stronger
and your characters more clearly defined.
Sharpen
your word pictures. Use specific detail to convey a precise
image and establish mood. Experiment with sentence structure
to emphasise the most important element.
Keep
the language simple. Simple words are powerful. Simple words
are active and specific. Get too complex and you risk reader
confusion or worse, boredom. Eliminate unneccesary words that
don't contribute to the central idea of the story. Eliminate
passive construction.
Use
theme to unify the book. You might not know what your theme
is until you've finished the MS. When rewriting, emphasize
certain aspects to illustrate the theme, foreshadow later
events and plug in small details that will tie in separate
scenes and give your resonance.
Other
things to check for:
STEP
FOUR
Leave your MS for at least one week to distance yourself from
it and increase your objectivity. Reread quickly, making notes
on where to make further changes.
Have
someone else critique it during your week away from it to
pick up what you missed.
Make
whatever changes and leave it for another week. Repeat the
process, even if it takes a dozen times, till you've eliminated
all the weak spots. This is your baby, you want it to be as
perfect.
If
you find yourself changing things back to the way they were,
it's time to stop. At this point you're going around in circles
and aren't going to improve the MS further.
STEP
FIVE
Print it out and send the sucker in!
Celebrate
your achievement and take a brief, well-deserved break. Do
make it brief, however. You want to be involved in another
project in case your MS bounces back.
If
you're lucky, and the editor likes your MS but has some concerns,
you'll get to tackle the `request for revisions'.
The
Revision Letter
The
revision letter is your golden opportunity to fix up all those
things you missed the first dozen times around. Never dismiss
it as unimportant or a nusiance or beneath your dignity as
a writer. I cringe when I hear unpublished writers say things
like, 'It's my story, I'm not going to change a thing.' The
published writers I know may grumble a little but most acknowledge
that the editor knows her job and that her suggestions will
improve the book. Maybe there's a connection here!
The
revisions an editor asks for may range from small, specific
changes that are accomplished quickly and easily, to larger,
more abstract suggestions that will require rewriting substantial
sections of your book.
Sometimes
changes that seem simple at first turn out to be more work
than you anticipate because they have ramifications throughout
the manuscript. Once again, you have to comb through the book,
looking for references to the item, then rewrite, delete or
add information accordingly.
When
I receive a revision letter I reread my MS with the editor's
comments in mind. I gave myself a day or two (if I have time)
to brood and let my ideas percolate. Then I make notes on
how I might approach the suggested changes.
Here
is how I handled the revisions for my first book, A
FATHER'S PLACE. The suggestions that were simple and
obvious and would have no bearing on the rest of the MS, I
did first. For example, there was an inconsistency in the
time line that I cleared up by changing a couple of words.
(I was lucky, timeline problems aren't always fixed so easily.)
The editor was also concerned about the heroine's best friend
who apparently abandoned her three children frequently to
hang out with the heroine. The solution was simple; I gave
the friend's children a doting grandmother who lived downstairs
in a granny flat.
Requiring
a little more thought was the suggestion to strengthen the
hero without tampering with him too much. First, I went through
the MS and deleted all tags on his dialogue and examples of
body language that indicated the slightest tendency to indecision,
vagueness, or passiveness. I also discovered when I looked
at the MS more closely, that I somtimes started out in his
POV, then switched to the heroine's. Rewriting these scenes
to stay in the hero's POV throughout forced the reader (and
me!) to get to know him better and forced him into a more
proactive role. By the time I'd finished, the hero appeared
a lot stronger even though I hadn't changed his character
or behaviour. I'd merely allowed him to play his part in the
story.
My heroine was afraid to marry for fear of dying young of
breast cancer and leaving her children without a mother, as
her own mother had done. The editor wasn't happy with the
scene in which the heroine resolved her internal conflict
through an imaginary conversation with her dead mother. She
said it was too much like a 'deus ex machina' solution. Once
I'd thought about it I realized I'd unconsciously taken the
easy way out. What the heroine really needed to confront was
not her mother, but herself. But when I took out the conversation
with the mother I needed another trigger for the self-analysis
and personal growth that would lead to resolution. This took
the form of an old photograph which triggered repressed memories.
The heroine had to confront not only her fears but the anger
toward her mother which she hadn't even known she felt.
Similarly,
the editor thought the hero's problematical relationship with
his brother was resolved in too pat a fashion and suggested
I delve a little deeper. When I did, I discovered that once
again, my hero's confrontation was not only with his brother,
but with himself. And that's the way it should be for a really
strong internal conflict. Sometimes we unconsciously shy away
from going for the guts in our writing. Forcing yourself to
work through your characters' emotional battles results in
stronger, more realistic writing.
Once
I'd finished working through the editor's comments, I went
through the MS again, working on passages I thought were weak.
For instance, when rewriting the confrontation scene where
the heroine finally confronts her fear of breast cancer I
decided to increase the emotional stakes by making her never
having done a breast self-exam before (both a result of her
fear and a contributer to it). Since the confrontation scene
occurred near the end of the book, I had to go right back
to the beginning, plant the seeds, and make them grow throughout
the book, changing all references to the subject to make them
correspond with the heroine's changed behaviour.
I'd
never been totally happy with the two chapters dealing with
the heroine's 32nd birthday (the same age as her mother when
she died). It was an imortant section and had been building
for several chapters. There was no shortage of action as the
hero and heroine journeyed by taxi, train, hot air balloon
and tugboat, and plenty of emotional interchanges as the heroine
traversed one of the toughest days of her life. But the two
chapters seemed flat and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.
Finally,
I went over the chapters with a highlighter and marked only
what was absolutely essential: the heroine's anxiety over
her birthday, the hero's ability to making her feel secure
enough to talk about her mother, and heroine's realization
that she was in love with hero. All the extraneous stuff about
the trip might have been interesting in an travelogue but
in my story it was not only unimportant, it obscured the real
purpose of the passage. In the end, I condensed the two chapters
into one, cutting out the taxi and the tugboat and substituting
the train ride for a trip in the hero's pick-up (an opportunity
to deepen the hero's characterization through specific detail).
I also set a conversation previously held in the heroine's
kitchen (which we'd seen enough of by now) in the truck. I
ended the chapter with the heroine realizing she'd fallen
in love. This ended the chapter on a hook instead of diluting
the effect with the unneccessary tugboat ride.
At
last I was happy with the scene. It was concise, had a logical
progression of emotional intimacy and much greater dramatic
impact. It taught me a lesson in going to the guts of a scene
and weeding out all that was irrelevant. It also taught me
the benefits of making scenes serve mutlitple functions. Remember,
if you feel flat and uninterested by a scene, your reader
will too.
The
process of revising per an editor's suggestions is pretty
much like revising for yourself or on a critique partner's
comments. The difference is, there should be no doubt in your
mind whether to change or not to change; the only question
is, how to tackle it. Maybe when you've got a few published
books under your belt and the confidence and experience to
know when you're right, you can fight to retain something
you truly believe in. Till then, it's not worth it. No editor
is going to want to work with a writer who won't work with
them.
If
you're in doubt about one of her/his comments or want some
feedback on the approach you intend to take, pick up the phone
and call. There's no point in second guessing the editor and
then getting it wrong. The editors I've spoken to in the past
have always been friendly, helpful and encouraging. But be
respectful of their time by being specific and concise in
your questions. Don't say `how should I do this?'. Show her
you've thought about her comments and have some ideas of your
own. Part of the process of becoming a writer is learning
to do revisions which is a very different thing from writing
the initial MS. The editor needs to know you can interpret
her suggestions and come up with a workable rewrite.
Finally,
enjoy the process of honing and fine-tuning your manuscript.
The buzz of satisfaction when you know you've got it right
makes all the hard work worthwhile.
©Joan
Kilby
